


"i love the way they cook linguine"

by finneli



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: content warning: reclaimed slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21761932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finneli/pseuds/finneli
Summary: quick drabble based on the line from the title. trina and whizzer attempt to cook dinner together.
Relationships: Whizzer Brown & Trina
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	"i love the way they cook linguine"

"Can you _please_ get out of my way?"

Trina shoved Whizzer aside with her elbow. He scoffed indignantly. "If you remember, Trin, you told _me_ to _make_ the stupid thing."

They were making dinner. Together, like Marvin told them to. It had been a few weeks since the day he moved Whizzer into the family house, promising everyone that they'd be a tight-knit family in no time.

"Don't call me that. Just- don't ever say my name. I don't wanna hear my name in your disgusting mouth, it depresses me."

...So the tight-knit thing was a pipe dream. Trina despised the fairy who stole her husband, and Whizzer...well, Whizzer hated everyone. (Everyone except the kid.)

"And you're doing it _wrong_ , Mr. Brown, you're supposed to _drain_ the vegetables," she continued, squeezing the juice out from the vegetables with a bit too much force.

But Whizzer just stared at her. And then started laughing. " _Mr. Brown?!_ " he wheezed. "That's literally the worst thing anyone's ever called me. And I've been called some _nasty_ things."

"I wonder why," Trina mumbled dully.

"Probably because I'm a nasty person. And a faggot," he said casually, checking his nails.

She dropped the knife she had just picked up. " _Shhh!_ " she hissed, covering his mouth with her hands. "I do _not_ need my son to hear words like that! He is _ten years old!_ "

"It's educational!" He batted her hands away gently. "It's a word he's gonna hear a _lot_ when we go out together."

Trina froze, stomach dropping. "When...when you what?"

"...Go out? Like, shopping, or to dinner, or to school-"

"Are you insane? You're not his _father_ , Whizzer- stay away from him!" She was standing between him and the door, almost like she was protecting Jason even right now.

Whizzer blinked. He...didn't know this was such an issue. "I- I didn't say I was his father, I was just- He's a good kid, and-"

"Yes. He's a _very_ good kid. I'm not about to let him be _corrupted_ by _you._ "

"I..."

People say shit like this all the time to Whizzer. All the fucking time. He can't spend time with any of his friends' kids, because he'll corrupt them. He'll-he'll _fag_ -ify them. Honestly, he's heard it a billion times... so why does it hurt so much right now?

He's not fucking stupid. He knows he's a freak. He knows he can be clocked from a mile away, with his pressed pants, and his perfect hair, and his pastel shirts, and his face and his voice and how he moves and how he talks-

"Whizzer? Whizzer."

Trina snapped her fingers in front of his face. He blinked. "Wh-"

"I'm sorry. I went too far. I... shouldn't have said..."

"No- Trina, you're right. I'll stay away from Jason. I want him to be safe too, and... my life isn't."

Trina looks relieved. "Thank you, Whizzer. I appreciate that. I really do."

"I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you hate me. Which... was most likely the whole, getting-fucked-by-your-husband-on-your-couch-and-then-coming-back-for-more-and-then-moving-in thing."

"Just... quiet." She breathed deeply. "You don't make it easy to like you, Whizzer Brown."

"Oh damn, thanks! I've been trying to perfect that quality about myself." He grinned.

She studied him for a second. "...Whizzer, have you ever considered speaking to a psychiatrist?"

"Oh, Jesus. Okay. I'm out. You can finally have the kitchen to yourself, I need air." He moved past her to the door quickly and then he was gone.

Trina hummed. Sure, he's... completely unlikable, rude, self-centered, arrogant, and manipulative, but... Despite herself, she finds herself feeling a bit bad for the guy.


End file.
